Wednesday, February 25, 2015

Monkey children, fantasy Sundays, mean questions—It’s a crazy world

Dear friends, 

Today, I’m sharing links to a series of articles that I think you’ll find entertaining.

1. Here are two articles about a couple who are leaving their fortune to their pet monkey, who is like a son to them.

Okay, these Sundays are both fantasies. I may not have kids, but I have never had a Sunday like the one described, and kids or not, nobody does that much laundry. Read it for fun.

If you’re not Christian, skip the early paragraphs and go right to the list. I’m guessing you can identify with these. 

Hang in there, my friends. And somebody send me some comments that are not spam.

Wednesday, February 18, 2015

What’s the big deal about childlessness?

What is it that makes people feel bad about not having children? That’s what the young man interviewing me over the phone yesterday wanted to know. I struggled to find an answer that he would understand. It became very clear that men and women have different ideas about this stuff, especially when they come from different generations. His questions showed he really didn’t get it.

Is it that everybody else is doing it? Are we looking for a sense of accomplishment? Do we want to leave something behind? Does it help to be around other people’s children?

Well, I could answer that last one. No. When you are hurting over your own lack of children, it does not help to be surrounded by everybody else’s. It just makes you more aware of what you’re missing. I don’t think he understood that either.

I tried to explain that it’s all of the above and more, that we’re missing a major life experience, that we have no younger generation to replace the old ones who are dying, that we have no one to inherit our keepsakes, and that for some people children are their only legacy, but none of that was really getting to the heart of it.

Why does it hurt so bad to realize we may never have children? Is it a deep-down physical need to reproduce? After all, every living thing on earth is designed to reproduce. Some can’t for various physical reasons, but reproduction is the plan. Humans are the only ones who can say, “No, we’d rather not,” the only ones who mate and don’t procreate. So maybe it’s just a basic biological need. But then why don’t some people feel that need?

Almost a quarter of women are not having children these days, and a lot of them don’t feel bad about it. They choose to be childless, preferring the unfettered life. Why do the rest of us grieve the loss of the children we might have had?

The young man segued into a discussion of social media and wouldn’t I like my blogs to be reposted in perpetuity if some company offered that service. No, I don’t think so, and was he actually scamming me to sell a product? I don’t know. But his questions about childlessness linger. What’s the big deal? Why do we feel so bad?

What do you think? Help me find answers? Why do you feel bad about not having children? Please share in the comments.

Wednesday, February 11, 2015

Writers tackle misunderstandings between those with and without children

Dear readers, I’m feeling a little brain-dead today, so I’m sharing these links to articles about being childless.

In this BBC piece, the writer discusses how hard it is for parents and non-parents to understand each other sometimes. “A Point of View: Can Parents and Non-parents Ever Understand Each Other?”

Then Dear Abby tackles those stupid nosy questions people are always asking us. You know the kind: Why don’t you have children? Don’t you like kids? Why don’t you adopt? Etc. Dear Abby: Nosy Questions Hurt Childless Woman

And finally, if we can laugh about this, we’re on our way to healing. Marion L. Thomas’s new book Living the Empty Carriage Way of Life will have you nodding your head, saying, “Yes, yes, that’s how it is.”

Happy reading.

Please keep commenting—unless you’re one of the dozens who write about spell casters and magical potions. I will continue deleting your comments as the spam that they are.